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Don’t Ask Someone How Many Individuals They’ve Slept With

Don’t Ask Someone How Many Individuals They’ve Slept With

“What’s your quantity? Like, which you’ve had intercourse with? ”

This concern has frustrated me personally considering that the extremely time that is first heard somebody ask it.

Whenever we ask people for his or her quantity, we don’t worry about their number. Instead, we value the presumptions we are able to make about them centered on their quantity. Whenever we ask individuals due to their number, we’re really asking another concern. We have been asking…

  • “Do you want intercourse? ”
  • “Do you safeguard your sex, or have you been extremely casual about it? ”
  • “Do you have got a wide base that is enough of to know the finer points of intercourse? ”
  • “Do you get away on times a whole lot? ”
  • “Do you’ve got one stands a lot? Night”

The thing is, the amount of intimate partners someone’s had does not respond to some of these concerns. A male with a decreased quantity might be completely ready to have one-night stand, whereas a lady with a top quantity may hate sex that is casual. One individual could have a number that is high maybe not enjoy a lot of their sexual encounters — and someone with a decreased quantity may enjoy intercourse extremely much and now have it often.

One’s number does not also talk with familiarity with various systems, either. Somebody with a reduced quantity might have been intimate with individuals with various systems, whereas somebody with a top number might go for similar type of individual every time that is single.